This is probably the first year I have really done proper winter vanlife in the UK. Previous years have involved trips abroad - e.-g Morocco! Or extended stays on relatives driveways when the need arose. This time round I am fully self contained, layered up and going solo. At least until the New Year when I may just call it quits and drive to the south of Spain. There’s only so much damp greyness Tuna can take after all, he definitely prefers a nice bit of warm sunshine on his fur in his old age.

I’m also staying in one area for most of that time, and actually have something approaching a routine, which is pretty novel considering many days I don’t even know where I’m going to end up sleeping that night. Regular climbing sessions at a nearby indoor gym are hopefully going to result in some good sends when I get back outdoors. I have focused on kilterboard training for the first time ever, and boy is it hard work! I’ve never been one for that sort of steep climbing but decided to just throw myself into it, and despite amassing a nice little assortment of injuries do appear to be making progress. It is a bit demoralising though when you start by thinking you’ll warm up on an easy V0 and get immediately shut down. 

Climbing somewhere, probably spain!

Trying hard is not optional on a board, it is mandatory. Something that I feel should benefit me as I have developed a habit of thinking ‘this route feels harder than I expected, I must be doing it wrong, maybe I should sit here and contemplate my options for a bit’ rather than ‘this route feels harder than expected, lets bloody smash it!’ when lead climbing. 

This somewhat lackadaisical approach came to a head one sunny evening in Portland when my belayer noted my lack of effort and upon my call to ‘Take’ simply responded ‘No’. Which after a considerable amount of panicked swearing ultimately resulted in a send I would not otherwise have got. 

That caused me to think some more. Maybe I’ve become too lazy to fight for things I want, content to take the easy path and just cruise along, relatively content but not really achieving anything. Maybe that’s even a better choice overall. After all we’re told to appreciate the little things aren’t we? Be content with what you’ve got, all that sort of thing. Would we all actually be better off if we didn’t try so hard all the time? Always working, always improving, always producing, making, buying, climbing up to something better? Something new that will finally make us happy. 

Could be anywhere!

I climbed my first 7A this year, it was a long term goal of mine finally achieved. It made me happy I guess. I certainly enjoyed the route and it’s a key memory from the year. Did it change me as a person? Did the struggle change me? Did it make me better? More satisfied with life? I don’t know, but it was something to do. Probably better than a lot of goals I could have set myself. Better than chasing money, or status, or a flash new car. Maybe as individuals, as well as society as a whole, we need to be more content to just… be. Stop chasing endless improvement, infinite growth on a finite planet. At the very least recognise the difference between pursuing a worthwhile ambition and grafting away for the sake of it.

Maybe we should be more cat. Maybe Tuna's got it right. He doesn't care whether he's reached his full cat potential. He just wants sunshine. Cats don’t stress about self-improvement, as far as they’re concerned they’re pretty much purrfect as they are!